When I think about the future, I try not to focus on how much I will be able to see…or not see. I really don’t. I try to live in the here and now and reflect on my many blessings. I love sharing and doing life with my husband. Marriage has truly been a sanctifying experience and I thank God for what He has taught me and continues to teach me through it. I have enjoyed setting up and decorating my new house. I am enjoying being in a city that is more accessible for me as a legally blind person. The list goes on.
And when I do think of the future, (I’m a planner and list maker) my thoughts are usually along the lines of: what should we have for dinner? Will I go back into the classroom or stick with online teaching? What should my next blog be about? What should we do for our fifth wedding anniversary? When should/will we have kids?
But fears of my future with lower vision do pop up in my mind every now and then. How much longer will I be able to teach? How much of my loved ones’ faces will I be able to see? Will I go completely blind?
When thoughts like these raid my mind, I look for comfort from the Lord. His word is a great place to go when you need comfort. That and a bowl of Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream always does the trick!
But I believe the Lord extends His comfort to us in other ways, too. Just the other day I read a blog post by BoldBlindBeauty that gave me comfort. The writer, Steph, who lost her vision as an adult, writes about meeting her first grandbaby and her excitement, “Thoughts of not being able to see him as well as I would have previously didn’t even cross my mind. All I wanted was to hold this precious baby. Believe it or not, if you live with it long enough, forgetting you can’t physically see after sight loss becomes the norm.” I loved reading that she was not wallowing in self-pity. She is enjoying her grandson to the fullest and living a fulfilling life. And I believe the Lord wanted to comfort me by confirming that I am living a fulfilling life, as well, and I will continue to even in the midst of losing my sight.
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. -Deuteronomy 31:8